Although he's no longer in a prison cell, I'm not going to change the name, sorry.
Today he returned to training at Melwood. Shaking hands with teammates and having a bit of a laugh, the skipper, newly charged with assault and affray, looked to be in good spirits for his circumstances.
It could have something to do with Rafa Benitez's statement on Liverpool's website in support of the player's character, position at the club, and general goody-too-shoeness:
"Steven is our captain and a key player for us, but more than this, I know him as a nice person. I sat down with him this morning and had a very good talk with him about the situation and I was also able to speak at length with our club lawyer. Steven explained to me what had happened and I told him he has my full support and backing, along with everyone else at the football club. He's trained with the other lads this morning after a couple of days off for the squad and is keen now to focus solely on his football. We've worked very hard to get into the position we're in going through to the New Year and all of us are determined to keep that progress going. We'll do whatever we can to support Steven in the weeks ahead, but we're now concentrating on our preparation for the FA Cup game at Preston this weekend."
A picture of the 34-year-old DJ, who was injured in the "brawl" has been released. It's anticlimactic if you ask me. No big scrapes or visible facial injuries whatsoever. Wimp.
pictures via liverpoolfc and dailymail