Booty Shorts: Mario Balotelli on Holiday

picture via The Sun

Footballers are Idiots: Balotelli Darts Punishment

The Manchester City man was caught throwing darts at a youth player in a training ground incident. Like, actual needle point darts. That's just f**ked up. So far no club sanction has been given (also pretty f**ked up).


Not as f**ked up as his hairdo though...

picture via Claudio Villa/Getty Images Europe/zimbio

Training Ground Bust-Up: Balotelli v. Boateng

As it went down, Jerome Boateng apparently had a nasty tackle on the sensitive creature that is Mario Balotelli and he wasn't having any of it. So a bit of a skirmish broke out. Men, acting just as they do in nature:


Don't worry, in the end, they hugged it out. Such a sincere face, Mario. I almost believe you.


pictures via dailymail and Dirty Tackle

Footballers are Idiots: Mario Balotelli Crashes Audi

He must have had this £120,000 customized Audi R8 for less than a week. Perhaps he forgot to drive on the left side of the road...

Remind you of anyone?



pictures via News of the World

Mario Balotelli is Just a Big Kitty Lover

Underneath that rebellious, harsh exterior, I'm guessing Mario is just a big ole softie. I bet he smells like cotton candy, watches romantic comedies and enjoys a daily bubble bath. Ooooo... and he likes to spoon too.

I'm onto you...

picture via dailymail