Footballer Holidays: Grade A Beef and Bikini Contests

Footballers are taking they’re “well-earned” holidays, or at least the English ones are. Vacation resorts around the world are being bombarded with increased paparazzi presence and outlandish requests for hotel staff.

Barbados was invaded by Peter and Abbey and Joe Cole and Carly Zucker, the latter preparing for their upcoming nuptials. (So their taking a holiday, getting married, then going on their honeymoon? That seems a bit excessive.)

Florida has seen the likes of John and Toni Terry with their twins and both sets of parents take up in Disney World, near Orlando, while Steven and Alex Gerrard are enjoying the sights down in Miami. The Gerrards are in Miami with Steven’s mate Gratty and some other people, but this holiday was preceded by a family trip with Lily Ella and Lexie to Portugal.

Frank Lampard, Elen Rives, and their two girls Luna and Isla are in Ibiza fighting hungry photographers on crowded public beaches. Lampard and Rives were spotted in coordinating pink outfits (Elen’s bikini circa Hawaii in 2004 to the right. She needs to burn that atrocious sequined monstrosity.)

The Beckhams, seeing that David is still training and playing in the MLS, decided on a simple say to Disneyland.

Honeymooners Roy Keane and Claudine Palmer are soaking up the sun in Sardinia while the Rooneys are going to bask in the honeymooning glory of Sir Richard Branson’s private resort on Necker Island in the British Virgin Islands in the Caribbean. (Necker Island? How perfect is that double entendre?)

Wedding Bells: Coleen and Wayne Pre-Nuptial PDA

With the nuptials just two days away, Wayne Rooney and Coleen Mcloughlin are in the Italian Riviera finalizing their plans. The two were seen canoodling yesterday at a café in Portofino. But it seemed like Coleen was all business, chatting on her mobile with Wayne strictly following in tow carrying her purchases. The decision maker for the big day is pretty obvious, while the one footing the bill seems to be more pleased to go with the flow. (I couldn't resist a bad pun.)



Today, the happy couple was at the Town Hall in Santa Margherita to complete some last minute preparations. Both the Rooney and Mcloughlin family convoys arrived today barring to the Genoa airport to be greeted by paparazzi and wedding spectators.



Link: That’s Amore!
Link: Coleen and Wayne Get Marriage License: Family and Friends Arrive

Ibiza Just Got a Little More Scouse-tastic

Wayne Rooney, along with his male family members, mates and in-laws have landed in Ibiza for his stag party/holiday/drink-fest. Mr. Rooney has rented a luxury villa for 4 days of fun. Locals be forewarned. Expect increased paparazzi presence, annoying drunken foreigners, and horrid, unintelligible scouse accents. Wayne’s brother, Graham Rooney, made a particularly classy entrance to the island by flipping off the paps as he exited the airport with the other Rooney brother, John. Broken cameras and fist fights are predicted to ensue later this evening.

Coleen Mcloughlin is going on her THIRD stag event as well, while Wayne is away. She’s heading to the Canary Islands with only her closest gal-pals.




Link: Watch out, Ibiza! Here comes Wayne Rooney and Pals for his Stag Do...

Coleen Getting Butterflys Prior To Wedding

Yes, literally. The Rooney-Mcloughlin nuptials will have a butterfly theme. I thought Coleen was going for something classy and sophisticated, not something that shares a common thread with unicorns and leprechauns. Unacceptable.

Wedding favors will consist of coloring books, crayons, and safety scissors.

Link: It’s Flutterly Over the Top, Roo!

WAG Alert: To Russia With Love

Manchester United’s WAGs are leaving the city and taking their platinum (or better) credit cards with them. With Coleen Mcloughlin leading the pack, the ladies toted designer bags, bubbas, and tickets to the UEFA Champions League Final through the Manchester Airport on their way to Moscow.



Link: WAGs at Dawn

Footballers Are Idiots… Even Premier League Champions

Rio Ferdinand Couldn’t Get Into His Own Party



After winning the Premier League and attending their seasonal awards ceremony, the Manchester United lads had a party with their WAGs at the 235 Casino in Manchester. By requiring ID at the door, players secured that the stalking public, such as a few Kickettes I know, wouldn’t get anywhere near the fun, and some of their players as well. Rio Ferdinand, being the incredibly forgetful individual that he is (remember that drug test), left his ID at home, and it was 20 minutes before he and his girlfriend Rebecca were finally permitted to join the rest of the team in their celebrations. If this man can’t even organize a party, how can we expect him to organize the England International Squad, ay?

Besides that, all the girls looked lovely. (Coleen Mcloughlin, Lisa Carrick, and Leanne Brown especially.)



Link: Ferdinand Gets a Yellow Card

Coleen Mcloughlin’s Hen Party

And my lord she’s having a lovely one. She’s spending a week in Miami with five of her closest friends, where they will drink heavily and dress fantabulously (I just made the word up). Note the gold-chained bikini. FEROSH!



But seriously, this girl has more holidays than a bank calendar.


Link:Day One
Link:Day Two

Coleen Must Have Been Feeling a Bit Insecure This Morning

Maybe Wayne forgot to say Happy Birthday before he left for training this morning, or perhaps she wanted to let the land know to bring presents, flowers, and sparkly things.



Link: Is Coleen Trying to Tell Wayne Something?