Ferosh Item: Carly Zucker

Someone finally decided to get a stylist. Carly Zucker definitely broke out her A-Game for the Pride of Britain Awards. Her hair is all did and everything! Looking absolutely ferosh dahling. Keep up the good work.

Side Note: Beau Joe Cole didn't join his Chelsea teammates to their Champions League trek to Romania to play Cluj. Perhaps his exclusion was so last minute that he didn't have time to have his tux dry-cleaned before the event to join his lovely bride-to-be on the red carpet.

picture via dailymail

Fashion Faux Pas: Alex Gerrard Brings No Pride

Alex Gerrard arrived at the Pride of Britain Awards at the London Television Centre. Apparently she forgot her pride in Liverpool.

picture via jamd

Alex Gerrard Flashes Some Cash on her Birthday

We all know you're made of money. No reason to leave it in the open. I bet there are pockets in those tight pants of yours. Or perhaps you could find a place for it in that over-sized bag of yours.

Off to Cricket for your birthday shopping? No surprise there.

Shoes are made for wearing not carrying. Just in case you were confused.

pictures via The Sun

Tuesday Tummies: Gareth Bale

I've always thought he was a bit of a hottie. Oh god, he's 19. Well now I feel just plain dirty.

picture via Kickette

Nereida Gallardo: Lost in Translation

The whole reappearance of whatsherface has me a little perturbed, but in the end, we all get to laugh at her expense, right? In reading some of her tell-all interview, there are some obvious signs that I believe foreshadow the eventual demise of her “relationship” with Mr. Ronaldo. Perhaps translating between the Portuguese and Spanish languages is more difficult than we had originally assumed. Captain Obvious is with me today to help translate for whatsherface.

She Says: “He is very good in bed. That’s why I was with him. We had sex the first night we met.”
Captain Obvious Answer: You’s a ho.

She Says: “The city is a little bit sad and the nightclubs close early. Life was only PlayStation, movies on TV and sex. But his house is impressive, with three floors.”
Captain Obvious Answer: He was embarrassed to take you out because… You’s a ho.

She Says: “There were some problems with his family as they were a little jealous.”
Captain Obvious Answer: They knew he was making a fool of himself by eventually taking you out in public because… You’s a ho.

She Says: “I was upset by the way he finished the relationship, which to me seems 100 per cent cowardly. He is very immature.”
Captain Obvious Answer: Duh… but you’s still a ho.

Link: Ronaldo Dumped Me By Text

Footballers Are Idiots: When Pooch Comes to Fall

Liam Lawrence, of Stoke City, had to undergo an x-ray today due to an accident involving tripping over his own dog. An initial scan showed no break, but an x-ray was completed to make sure there was no bone damage. Depending on the result, Lawrence may or may not be available to play Portsmouth this weekend.

Personal Note: I apologize for the above abuse of pun use.

Link: Lawrence in the Doghouse

Beckhams in NY: Heelless Boots and Hot Suits

pictures via dailymail

Ljungberg Returns to London in Mist

And is apparently smitten with Natalie Imbruglia. So much so, that he sent over a bottle of champagne to her table at Whiskey Mist.

photos via dailymail/WENN

Terry Charms Stoke's Boo-Boys

I knew he was quite the lady charmer, but who knew that John Terry could be such a charismatic fellow with the Stoke City fans that berated him during a post match interview at the Britannia Stadium? The England and Chelsea captain acted with class and poise when he approached the taunting fans in the corporate boxes to sign autographs and take photos. To clinch the fans appreciation, Terry threw his match kit to the group and applauded their efforts. And as JT descended down the tunnel to rejoin his teammates, the touched Stoke fans chanted his name.

If this man isn’t a prime example of a public relations goldmine, I don’t know who is?

picture via gettyimages

Link: John Terry Heads Chelsea’s Charm Offensive

2010 World Cup Mascot Unveiled

Zakumi ("za" being an acronym for South Africa, and "kumi" meaning 10 in most languages of Africa) was unveiled on South African television yesterday. At least they put shorts on this one. But I take issue with his green hair. Every kid that goes to the World Cup is going to want to die their hair green. Mothers around the world will be totally and utterly humiliated for an entire summer. FIFA's excuse:

"Zakumi loves football. At one time he decided to dye his hair green as he felt it would be the perfect camouflage against the green of the football pitch; a bit like his rosette spots are when hunting in the wilderness!"

Cue visual of mascot leaping out and slide tackling Cristiano Ronaldo from the sidelines, sending CRon into a face first dive to the grass. I'm just now seeing the perks.

In conclusion, it's a definate upgrade from the pantless creature of 2006 and the scary A.D.D. twins of 2008. Zakumi is actually quite adorable in graphic form.

picture and story via The Offside

Tuesday Tummies: JT's Viral Photo

It's all over the web, but I couldn't resist.

picture via Kickette's Chelsea Supporters Thread

TIET Guest Feature

I'm on TIET again today! GO CHECK IT OUT!

I'm Becoming Official!

I’ve finally caved and paid the whopping $10 yearly fee to turn my wimpy blogspot address into an official dot-com! SO EXCITING! It won’t be totally converted for a few days, so be prepared! The new address will be: http://www.myrelationshipwithfootball.com (thrilling I know.) So change your bookmarks! I must admit that I’m downright giddy!

I’ve also copywrited my site using Creative Commons. It’s a non-profit so it’s really useful to those who want to protect their writing without paying a fortune.

I’d also going to take this opportunity to thank everyone who’s been visiting the site and commenting. I love having revisiting readers and it only forces me to write better and take the site seriously. So keep me sharp and keep commenting!

THANK YOU SO MUCH!

CHEERS!

John Terry Completes First Human Cloning...

Not really. But his offspring looks eerily identical right? Besides that little Georgie John is a blondie.

Monday Mmmmm: David Beckham 2009 Calendar Shots Leaked!

Frank Lampard Red Carded For Intentional Handball

Who knows if these rumors are true, but it does make for an interesting story. Apparently Frank had a little too much of a good time at the Funky Buddha last week after Chelsea's win over Bordeaux. He shared a secluded booth with his ex-teammate Jody Morris, some pals, and a couple of very short-skirted ladies. While the ladies sipped on wine, some souvenir photos were taken and Lampard obliged willingly. But probably after having too much to drink, the threesome enjoyed some playful cuddling. A clubbing onlooker described the scenario as so:

“Things seemed to get a bit flirty at one point as Frank put his arms around them. Their hands drifted down between his legs as they had a three-way cuddle, but he didn’t bat an eyelid. It was all in fun, though, and didn’t seem too saucy. But his missus might be peeved about girls running their mitts between his legs.”

Eventually Frank turned his smile to a dismissive frown when he realized photographers had caught the ladies with their hands near his penalty box. He left the club at 3 AM, not blushing, but with a suspicious orange hue. Perhaps he was rubbing his face too closely against those of his table party.


pictures via lampardluvva at WagsInternational and The Sun, respectively
Link: Daily Star - Handball Lamps!
Link: Daily Mail - Mr. Metrosexual Frank Lampard Celebrates Chelsea Win

Friday Roundup: Fraud, Films, Figurines, and Fashion Week

The Beckhams have been immortalized into Lego figurines. I find them disturbingly similar to their real life counterparts.
picture via Entertainment Wise

John Terry was recently questioned in regards to a suspicious wedding gift that he received from convicted felon, Faisal Madani. An expensive holiday charged to a fraudulent credit card was given to the England captain after his nuptials to Toni Poole last June. Reports are stating that Terry has done nothing wrong.

Manchester United stars strutted on the red carpet for the premiere of the film tribute to Ryan Giggs’ 17 year career. (Side note: I can’t imagine this movie was all that entertaining. I mean how long can you make a goal reel before people in the audience start yawning?)


Cheryl Cole showed off her slender figure while on the catwalk at the Fashion for Relief show during London Fashion Week. She modeled a form-fitting red sequined Jean Paul Gautier gown before changing into a short pink Balmain cocktail dress. (Both… GORGEOUS!) Hubby Ashley was in attendance to cheer on the Girls Aloud star, along with her band mate Sarah Harding.
pictures via DailyMail

Tuesday Tummies: Vintage Michael Ballack

Are his pecs bigger than my boobs? It's possible. Love those hip dimples!

John Terry Red Card Rescinded

The FA Regulatory Commission has rescinded John Terry’s red card in the match against Manchester City this weekend. Mark Halsey gave the card for “serious foul play” when Terry pulled down City’s Jo just beyond the halfway line. JT will now be available for the significant match against Manchester United on Sunday.

Personal Note: HAAAALELUJAAAH!!!

Link: Blues Win Terry Appeal

picture via jamd

Schuster Snaps Robinho for Move

Robinho’s former manager had this to say about the stars move to Manchester City:

“You have to respect his dream of being a major player in a mediocre club in England.”

Oh...snap. How you like dem apples, RoBITCHo?

Link: DailyMail - Get Real Robinho

Posh Soccer Mom and Cruz Lightyear Cheer On Brooklyn

Victoria Beckham was a grand spectator at her son, Brooklyn's football match. Spotted in a 60s shift dress and £4,200 Hermes Birkin bag. Perhaps she thought it was much like the games at the Home Depot Center. Alas, it was just little league.

Cruz decided to wear a Buzz Lightyear costume from the Disney-Dreamworks hit Toy Story. How adorable is it when celebrity children act so normal.

How much does Brooklyn look like his old man? Eerie right?

pictures via dailymail

Link: Soccer Mom Posh Pitches Up to See Brooklyn Play Football... in a Designer Dress and $7,500 Handbag

Nevermind That Chelsea Beat Man City...

FRANK'S THIGHS HAVE RETURNED!




And in all their goalscoring beauty no less! I'm downright giddy!

Tuesday Tummy: Devon McTavish of D.C. United

Even though he’s an MLS player, this footballer has got some serious lady issues, and I don’t mean the philandering kind. Apparently McTavish is perpetually single. (Which I can’t believe.) But so much so, that he’s decided to go and do a radio show version of The Bachelor in the Washington, D.C. area. They've already picked the Top Ten Fianlists, but you can vote for the lady with which he should go on a date. Here’s a video of Devon doing a radio spot:



Perhaps he’s single because of his dodgy hat collection:

Or his fiercely competitive foosball habit:

(stop picking on little kids)

I don't know about you, but I'd totally date him!

Call me...LOL

Link: MIX 107.3 FM: The Bachelor

pictures via google images/behindthebadge.com/youtube

Footballers Are Idiots: Fabián Espíndola Is No Gymnast

After scoring on the sixth minute for Real Salt Lake against the LA Galaxy on Saturday, Fabián Espíndola thought it would be fitting to do a cliché back flip celebration. Alas, in landing he broke his leg, and his goal was disallowed anyway. The irony is almost too much to bear. But it gets even better…

When Stupid Met Stupider:

After scoring the equalizer for the Galaxy in the eventual 2-2 draw, Bryan Jordan conducted a more successful version of the back flip without breaking any limbs. Rather than looking like the more gymnastic of the two, he just appeared to be the greater of two stupids.

Link: The Spoiler's Perspective

WAG Alert: Posh Goes Pixie

Victoria showed off her new chop at the Marc Jacobs show during New York Fashion Week. What do you think?


pictures via dailymail

Essien Has Torn ACL

Michael Essien has torn his anterior cruciate ligament while playing for Ghana in their World Cup Qualifiers. It is reported that he will be out for “months.” All Chelsea fans please join together in a universal, “SHIT!”

Link: The Press Association: Cruciate Injury Rules Out Essien

Footballers Are Idiots: Dimitar and his Trainers

Berbatov, after signing a £30.75 million deal with Manchester United last week, he decided that in order to celebrate he would blow £2,500 on 25 pairs of trainers at Selfridges in Manchester. Let me do the math for you. That’s £100 per pair of shoe and £50 per shoe. Ridiculous… waste… of… money. He has a boot deal with adidas. Does that not include free trainers as well? I would think so. Free shoes or £100/pair? That’s not a difficult decision if you ask me. Dumb schmuck.

Link: Ex-Spurs star Berbatov blows £2,500 on 25 pairs of trainers