Jozy Altidore Loaned to Hull City

The American striker will join Hull City for a season-long loan from Villareal. Altidore, 19, relishes the chance to play for The Tigers in one of the strongest leagues in the world. GOOD LUCK!

picture via google images

Bullard to Hull City

Jimmy Bullard, who became discontented with his Fulham appearance record, moved to Hull City for £5million. Hull broke the bank to seal the £45,000-per-week midfielder.

picture via dailymail

Marlon King Fights Girls

Has no one told this nimrod that you don’t hit girls. No matter how large they are or how much they taunt you. It’s just not to be done. It wasn’t just like a little friendly punch either; he totally broke her nose. What a w**ker!

There should be a list of men who hit girls at any point in their lives, and once they make this list, they are never to get laid again. Ever.

picture via jamd

Link: Marlon King Punched a Girl in the Face in a Nightclub
Link: Footballer Held in Assault Probe

Weekend of Upsets, Besides Chelsea of Course

What is going on in the Premier League OR, rather, what the f**k happened this weekend? Wigan and Tottenham both won games tied at 1-1 in literally the last minute of the game. While Arsenal fell to Stoke in a dismal display and Hull were SOOO close to tying up with Manchester United. It was like twilight zone stuff.

Wigan beat Portsmouth 1-2 with goals from Amr Zaki (pictured above, looking exceedingly attractive in his post-goal celebration glory) and Emile Heskey. Niko Kranjcar was the lone goal scorer for Portsmouth. I'm thinking maybe Pompey was distracted by the flroescent yellow-green Chelsea throwback kits Wigan sported for the match.


Gael Clichy saved the blushes of Arsenal by scoring on 90’, but it wasn’t enough as the Gunners fell 2-1 to Stoke. At least Cesc finally decided to get a haircut. (But the faux-hawk is so 2006.)


Last, but definitely not the least, Tottenham pulled out a win over Liverpool in the dieing embers of the match with a goal from newcomer Roman Pavlyuchenko (who’s mummy is saying that he didn’t want to join Spurs in the first place.) Jamie Carragher scored the other for the Spurs. That’s right, an own goal from the defensive master. Oh bother.


Credit to Hull City for their efforts against Manchester United. They were so close to tying it up, but just couldn’t finalize the deal. But still 4-3 was quite a remarkable result.


There was much guy-love to go around at Stamford Bridge. Chelsea had another AMAZING match against Sunderland. A hat-trick from Anelka, a goal from Alex, along with ANOTHER header from Lampard (he’s going to have to stop telling people that he’s no good at headers) sealed a 5-0 win for the Blues. That brings our goal differential to +26 compared to Liverpool’s +8. Oh and congrats to Frank for scoring his 100th career league goal. YAY!

pictures via jamd and kickette

Hull v. Chelsea: Nausea and Such

I'm feeling a little nervous about this game today. There have been few positive remarks made in the days since Sunday, both personally and in the media, to lead me to believe that we are at all prepared for Hull City. But contrary to that, I know we can absolutely annihilate them. And frankly, the more people that tell me Hull are going to beat Chelsea, the more I think Chelsea are going to surprise everyone. (That and I am also compelled to punch those Hull advocates in the face.) I don't like to be told what to expect. No one knows what's going to happen, unless perhaps you have E.S.P. or if you're a gypsy fortune teller. (Both incredibly unlikely.) So don't go around vaunting that you have the ability to predict the future, it just makes you look like a total nutter, and makes me want to punch you in the face. (Sorry, my nerves make me volatile.)

Weekend Observations: October 4th and 5th

Liverpool have mastered the art of the comeback. After going down 2-0 to City yesterday, Liverpool proceeded to win 2-3 with goals from Torres on 55’ and 72’ and Kuyt on 90’. Of course it helped that Pablo Zabaleta got a red card on 67’ to leave City playing with 10 men for the last 23 minutes.


Geovanni was the best buy of the summer.


Frank Lampard is one of the most consistent players in the Premier League. He’s currently #2 to Gabriel Agbonlahor in the Actim Index.


Zlatan Ibrahimovic is a FREAK!


If you’re feeling like an unappreciated striker, sign for Portsmouth. Jermain Defoe lead the league in goals, and Peter Crouch scored a lovely bicycle kick in the penalty box this weekend to bring his Premier League total to 100 goals.


Barcelona come out of the tunnel scoring. This weekend they put 3 in the back of the net in the first 10 minutes. And proceeded to beat Atletico Madrid 6-1. And it wasn’t just The Messi Show. Marquez (4’), Eto'o (6’, 18’), Messi (9”), Gudjohnsen (28’), and Henry (73’) all scored for Barça. The lone pointless goal for Atletico was scored by Maxi Rodríguez.

pictures via jamd