27 May 2008

Women Faced with New Appreciation for England Training Gear

john terry pre-usasteven gerrard pre-usadavid beckahm pre-usa

If you haven’t seen them already, England encountered a bit of rain yesterday in training. How misfortunate; except for the ladies that is. Those white shorts when moist become a bit translucent. Who would have known!? I’m thinking perhaps there is a woman behind this oversight, or maybe not-so-oversight. Either way, these should be worn whenever rain is predicted on the same day as training, it’s a new rule.

John Terry, David Beckham, Joe Cole, David Bentley and Steven Gerrard were sporting these translucent shorts and I think we can all agree that there was more to see than usual. The audio/visual effect is lovely as well.

Alas, there are still a few footballers hooked on the new spandex under shorts craze that’s sweeping the nation. Frank, rid yourself of those constricting undergarments pronto. You look ridiculous.

bentley and beckham pre-usajoe cole pre-usaterry and beckham pre-usafrank lampard pre-usa

P.S. Congratulations John on getting the captain's armband for Wednesday evening!

Link: Sympathetic Capello Makes Terry England Captain

Gerard Piqué Returns to Barcelona

gerard piqué

Four years after leaving the Nou Camp, Gerard Piqué shall return for a mere £5m transfer deal. In the four years spent at Manchester United, Piqué never established himself in the scheme of the first team, especially with the central defense prowess of Rio Ferdinand and Nemanja Vidic. Or perhaps it was the dodgy mane he sported for too many seasons.

Adios, Senor. Buena suerte.

Link: Barcelona Complete Pique Signing

26 May 2008

Frank Lampard Canoodles with Mystery Blonde

frank and mystery blonde

Adultery is not something that footballers can get away with, and yet they try and try to no avail. The latest to hit the chopping block is Frank Lampard. It was not so long ago that Mr. Lampard was spotted at a Las Vegas casino with a young lady exiting his private villa at the Wynn Hotel prior to Chelsea’s preseason last summer. The swords were drawn and Elen Rives removed her “commitment ring” before moving out to Essex, Surrey and telling Frank that there was to be no more London parties. But Frank was at it again this past week, hitting up Kitts Nightclub with his mates Thursday night after the Champions League defeat to Manchester United.

But even more recently Frank was spotted warming up to a mystery blonde at the Beauchamp pub. A hangover is not the only thing he had to deal with on this particular morning after. Elen was pictured, sans “commitment ring” once more, and packing their two girls, Luna and Isla, into their family 4x4 along with some luggage.

Is this the end of Frank and Elen? Has their three-year engagement with no wedding date in sight finally gotten the best of them? Has Elen’s fashion failures and embarrassing facial bruises become too embarrassing for Frank to handle? Or is it simply Elen is going to Spain with little ones so that they can see her side of the family?

Only time will tell.

P.S. Does anyone find it telling that he has 5 pints sitting in front of him at the bar? Pissed much?

frank and mystery blone 2frank at kitts nightclubelen rives no ring

Link: Frank Lampard Drowns his Sorrows with a Mystery Blonde

Cheryl and Girls Aloud in Newcastle

cheryl cole in newcastle

Cheryl Cole appeared in Newcastle this past weekend in a very dapper teal hat and reflective aviators before Girls Aloud made their tour stop in Geordie-ville. Apparently fans “mobbed” her when she arrived in her hometown. And by fan mobbing they mean, her family greeted her at the airport.

girls aloud in newcastle

Link: Cheryl’s Night Out on the Toon

Coleen Getting Butterflys Prior To Wedding

coleen and wayne's wedding

Yes, literally. The Rooney-Mcloughlin nuptials will have a butterfly theme. I thought Coleen was going for something classy and sophisticated, not something that shares a common thread with unicorns and leprechauns. Unacceptable.

Wedding favors will consist of coloring books, crayons, and safety scissors.

Link: It’s Flutterly Over the Top, Roo!

John Terry Crys, Writes Letter to Fans, Scores with Women EVERYWHERE

john terry crying 2

Last week there was the Georgie John bag and then a heartfelt letter arrived on the official Chelsea FC website. It makes me cry and want to give him a huge hug. (And by hug I mean booty call and pity sex.) He is a real man in so many ways, even Gordon Brown deems it necessary to feel sympathy for this football warrior/future sex god.

It takes a real man to apologize:

‘I am so sorry for missing the penalty and denying you the fans, my teammates, family and friends the chance to become European champions…I have relived that moment every minute since it happened. I have only slept a few hours and wake up every time hoping it's all been a bad dream.’

And an even bigger man to take responsibility for his actions:

‘…I am a big man and I take responsibility for us not winning. That night in Moscow will haunt me forever and I feel I have let everybody down and this hurts me more than anything.’

And everyone knows only real men cry:

‘…I am not ashamed about crying. This is a trophy I have tried so hard year after year to win and it was just an uncontrollable reaction, I wear my heart on my sleeve, everybody knows that.’

Thank you for all your support for the team this season.'

You’re welcome Captain JT. And may I add that if Frank isn’t there next season I might disown you. Just letting you know.

frank comforts john john terry crying

Avram Grant Sacked

avram grant sacked

There’s no way you could have NOT seen this one coming.

Link: Avram Grant sacked as Chelsea coach

20 May 2008

John Terry Likes Son By His Side

john terry bag UCL Final

Father’s Day is coming up and I think a little papa love is always lovely. In preparation for the UEFA Champions League Final tomorrow, Chelsea trained today at the Luzhniki Stadium in Moscow. After training, Mr. Terry represented his doting father persona here with this adorable toiletry bag picturing him and his son Georgie John on the side. Isn’t it just precious!

john's toiletry bagsummer, john, georgie

Link: Chelsea Star John Terry Goes Soft with Son's Picture on His Washbag

WAG Alert: To Russia With Love

coleen mcloughlin moscowstacey giggsemma neville

Manchester United’s WAGs are leaving the city and taking their platinum (or better) credit cards with them. With Coleen Mcloughlin leading the pack, the ladies toted designer bags, bubbas, and tickets to the UEFA Champions League Final through the Manchester Airport on their way to Moscow.

scholes familyrebecca ellisonariani (nani)coleen mcloughlin moscow 2

Link: WAGs at Dawn

Footballers Are Idiots: Captain Anger Pays His Dues

We know he's used to wearing the classic black and white vertical stripes for Newcastle, but what about the black and white stripes of a prison uniform?

joey barton

Joey Barton is going to serve six months in prison after pleading guilty of assault and affray charges at his trial in March. Barton, 25, his brother Andrew, 19, and his cousin Nadine Wilson, 27, were all involved in a tussle on December 27th while out on the town in Liverpool following an evening with family and friends. The three individuals were captured on CCTV attacking, throwing food at, and verbally abusing an unidentified man and a 16-year-old boy.

It was reported that Barton had consumed 10 pints of lager and 5 bottles of lager prior to the incident. He admitted to having a drinking problem and for several weeks after his initial arrest he was admitted to the Tony Adams's Sporting Chance Clinic for his alcohol problems as part of his bail conditions.

Good luck mate. Don't drop your soap.

Link: Newcastle's Barton Jailed After Admitting Assault

UEFA Champions League Final Trailer

15 May 2008

Cheryl Cole Resorts to Cuddling her Pooch

buster and cheryl

Rather than snuggling up with her untrustworthy husband, Cheryl Cole has turned to the most faithful man in her life, her Chihuahua Buster. After Girls Aloud performed in Brighton last night, Cheryl was reunited with her other companion, who got a ride on her lap from the show to her hotel. Nicola Roberts acted as chauffeur for the evening.

To editorialize for a moment… what an adorable little creature! I think I would probably choose him over Ashley any day. Yes his eyes are bit beady, but those ears are just plain precious! And I’m sure she has a purse somewhere that fits him in it just perfectly. (How emasculating for him.)

nicola, buster, cheryl

Link: With Ashley Still in the Doghouse, Cheryl Cole Turns to a Faithful Companion - Her Chihuahua

14 May 2008

Hump Day Celebration: Lukas Podolski... In Bed

Ferosh Item: 2009 Ferrari GT California

ferrari california 4

Soon to be found in a ditch or pulled over by the fuzz near every big name training ground in Europe, this hot new ride is the first of its kind to have a retractable hard top.

ferrari california 2ferrari california 3

Link: Ferreira California Revealed

Slick or Ick: The Clarke Brothers

These two lower leaguers look like they might have some hottie potential. According to teammates both have a real sense of humor, pulling gags on the lads all the time. Maybe if you’re in for a good laugh, check out this younger and much poorer version of the Neville brothers.

nathan clarketom clarke

Nathan’s Bio in Brief (upper left)
Age: 24
Nationality: English (born in Halifax)
Height: 185 cm. (6 ft. 1 inches)
Weight: 80.81 kg (178 lbs.)
Position: Defender
Honours: #43 on FourFourTwo’s list of 2006 Top 50 Football League Players
Marital Status: Unknown

Tom’s Bio in Brief (upper right)
Age: 20
Nationality: English (born in Halifax)
Height: 180 cm. (5 ft. 11 inches)
Weight: 77.18 kg (170 lbs.)
Position: Defender/Midfielder
Honours: Played for England U-18’s and U-19’s
Marital Status: Currently dating someone

Footballers Are Idiots: Arm Wrestling Gone Bad

lee thorpe

Lee Thorpe, 32, of Rochdale FC broke his arm in an arm wrestling match on the team coach traveling to Darlington this past Saturday. Manager Keith Hill was reluctant to name Thorpe’s arm wrestling opponent, but teammate Chris Dognall, while speaking to BBC Radio Manchester, was quick to divulge the culprit. Rene Howe was said to be his challenger when his arm broke in three different places. Who gets beaten up by a guy named Rene? I mean, seriously.

Howe was quoted after the Darlington game as saying:

“We do a bit of arm wrestling on the way to matches for a bit of fun and Lee challenged me even though I'd beaten him badly before. I warned him he was going to suffer, but I didn't expect to break his arm. We were wrestling and then there was a loud crack and it turns out he'd broken his arm in three places.”

Link: Thorpe in Arm Wrestling Accident

13 May 2008

Nancy Dell’Olio Reaches Out to Nature

Nancy Dell'Olio

The ex of former England manager, Sven Goran Eriksson, Dell’Olio has had her fair share of disappoinments. Whoever sent her out in public in this travesty is yet another example of how she’s been let down. Attending the Glamour Awards in London's Berkeley Square, Dell’Olio was far from living up to the standards of said award show.

I think what’s missing are some gnomes, elves, pixies, and other woodland floor creatures? She should have had a midget as her date and dressed him as a gnome. That would have been FEROSH!

She needs a new stylist, or at least a friend or a mirror. Good luck next time.

Link: Nancy Dell'Olio's Bizarre Floral Dress Turns Heads at Awards Ceremony

12 May 2008

WAG Alert: Abi Clancey Gets New “Project”

abi clancey

Being touted as a “domestic abuse liability” after she was caught hitting poor Peter Crouch outside a club, Abi Clancey might be compared to a WASP-like version of Naomi Campbell minus the super in front of the model. But Miss. Clancey has a new project in her hands that will hopefully keep Peter out of harms way for a while. Abi will host, along side George Lamb and fellow model Michelle de Swarte, a hip new show titled, The Fashion Project.

Each episode will have celebrity guests, segments testing fashion favourites with high street bargains, and the marketing is directed towards those who are fascinated with the subject. Some of the topics to be discussed...

"We'll look at things like how a pair of Louboutins fair against a pair of Primark's best and how will Agent Provocateur knickers compare to M&S's trusty pants?"

The show will premiere in the fall on ITV2.

peter and abi

Link: WAG to Test Drive Fashion in New TV Role

Transfer Talk: Chelsea Sign a Different Jose

jose bosingwa

Jose Bosingwa has completed his transfer from FC Porto to Chelsea today with the agreement of personal details and passing of a medical. Whether the rising Portuguese star is worth his £16.2 million fee, we will have to watch the EURO 2008 competition to get a closer look.

In my opinion, Chelsea have signed a real uggo. The unibrow must go. Maybe we can counter the uggo with a real beaut. Rafael van der Vaart, perhaps? Nummy!

rafael van der vaart

Link: Bonsingwa Seals Blues Move

Footballers Are Idiots… Even Premier League Champions

Rio Ferdinand Couldn’t Get Into His Own Party

rio and rebecca

After winning the Premier League and attending their seasonal awards ceremony, the Manchester United lads had a party with their WAGs at the 235 Casino in Manchester. By requiring ID at the door, players secured that the stalking public, such as a few Kickettes I know, wouldn’t get anywhere near the fun, and some of their players as well. Rio Ferdinand, being the incredibly forgetful individual that he is (remember that drug test), left his ID at home, and it was 20 minutes before he and his girlfriend Rebecca were finally permitted to join the rest of the team in their celebrations. If this man can’t even organize a party, how can we expect him to organize the England International Squad, ay?

Besides that, all the girls looked lovely. (Coleen Mcloughlin, Lisa Carrick, and Leanne Brown especially.)

wayne and coleen

Link: Ferdinand Gets a Yellow Card

Separated at Birth: Owen Hargreaves and Ozzy Lusth

owen hargreaves 2 ozzy lusth

Owen Hargreaves and Ozzy Lusth have both been survivors, one in football, and the other on the incredibly over-rated television series.

Ferosh Item: Sarah Jessica Parker Tries a Bit of British Style

sarah jessica parker

This doesn’t really have anything to do with footballers or WAGs, but I just couldn’t resist this fashion forward individual. (Someone maybe the WAGs should take on as a role model.) SJP looked totally ferosh in a fetching green hat designed by Philip Treacy. She looks absolutely fabulous. I love that she made an effort to be cultural.

All of the Sex and the City girls were in Leicester Square for the premiere of their new film based on the HBO television series.

Link: Sex and the City Hits London

UPDATE: WAGs, were infact, in attendance at the premiere. Alex Curran-Gerrard, Sheree Murphy, and Louise Redknapp enjoyed the red carpet photogs and all looked amazingly lovely. Yes, even Alex.

alex curran at SATC premierePhotobucket