Ronaldo Hides from the Limelight... For Once

Cristiano Ronaldo brings a whole new meaning to the Corey Hart classic “I Wear My Sunglasses at Night.” Back in October when he got a black eye in the Champions League game win over Roma, Captain Vanity wore a cap and sunglasses to hide his Quasimodo-like appearance during a press conference the following day at Old Trafford. But he was quick to relieve the masses that worship his good looks and chiseled features by saying: “It’s OK, in four or five days I will be beautiful again.” (What a t*t!)

But according to some gossip sources he didn’t feel the need to take off his ineffective disguise off for over 48 hours, not even for a good romp with a promotions girl that he spotted at the press conference. I don’t know about the rest of the females out there, but I think that’s bad taste. I mean, who wants to see their o-face reflected in a bad pair of aviators. My advice to Cristiano: go back to having orgies with hookers, because your one-on-one style is less than desirable.

Link: Cristiano Ronaldo Wore Sunglasses During Sex
Link: Kickette

Chelsea and Tottenham: Wembley Bound

Chelsea beat Everton 0-1 (AGG 1-3) in the second leg of the Carling Cup semifinals and earned a trip to Wembley on Sunday, February 24th to play Tottenham in the final. The Londoners went into the game with a 2-1 lead, but Joe Cole scored a beautiful volley on 69 minutes to officially send the Merseyside squad to the showers in dismay. Petr Cech had the performance of the evening with 7 saves, holding Everton at bay throughout the match. He dedicated his amazing performance to his wife, Martina, and his new daughter, Adela, who was born Tuesday shortly after 6:00 AM in Prague, the Czech Republic’s capital, and Cech’s home country.

Nicolas Anelka and Shaun Wright-Phillips also had good performances for the Blues, both frustratingly hitting the woodwork rather than the back of the net. Juliano Belletti and Alex, while performing well on the defensive end, also produced some close shots on goal at the other end. Steve Sidwell and Florent Malouda acted superbly as middlemen, moving the ball well and feeding the forwards with crisp passes, the latter sending the lobbed ball to assist Cole’s goal. Claude Makelele, who was named captain for the evening with the absence of John Terry, Frank Lampard, and Michael Ballack due to injuries, performed well in his defensive midfield position, covering well for the defenders who were pushing the ball forward to the offensive half.

With injury problems coming to a close for many players, Chelsea look like contenders on all fronts and aren’t holding back either.

Nicolas Anelka Signs with Chelsea

Chelsea have finally cashed in on their promise to score Bolton striker Nicolas Anelka in the January transfer window. Not only will he make an amazing cover for Didier Drogba and Salomon Kalou while they are n Ghana for the African Nation's Cup, but what I am more excited for is when he gets to play WITH these players once they return! (I think £15million is a little steep though.)

Anelka is planning to make his debut for the Blues tomorrow against Tottenham at Stamford Bridge.



Link: Anelka Completes £15m Move to Chelsea

Link: New Boy Anelka Poised for Chelsea Debut

Blackwell Thinks Posh Just Isn't So

Mr. Blackwell named Victoria Beckham the worst dressed female of 2007. The more likely scenario is that he’s approaching a state of dementia. While touting Madonna, Barbra Streisand, Elizabeth Taylor, Helen Mirren and the Queen for their fashion forward sense of style, Blackwell states that Posh is “in one skinny-mini monstrosity after another.”

But oxymoronically enough, Blackwell names Katie Homes, the prodigy of Mrs. Beckham herself, one of the ten BEST dressed. I’m sensing come confusion. I don’t trust this Blackwell fella, no matter how many years he’s spent in fashion, to name the Queen as fashionable is just downright preposterous.

Link: Mr. Blackwell's Worst-Dressed Women of 2007

Posh Confused

I'm sure I'm not the only one that picked up on Victoria Beckham's similarity in dress to that of Chelsea's away kits.


(Think she's subconsciously trying to hint to David that she'd rather see him training with the Blues rather than Arsenal?) I think the hypnotic color of the dress must have distracted him from dressing himself properly as well. Did he accidentally put Brooklyn's vest on?

Christmas Came Early

This is making my finals week so much more tolerable. I might possibly have a new desktop photo to push me through the rest of the week. Thank god for Giorgio Armani!

Finals Finale

No I'm not talking about soccer in this case. My last round of finals is next week and then I graduate on the 15th. So excuse my absenteeism please. I shall return and will hopefully be doing more posting than ever (or at least until I get a REAL job).

Double Fashion Offense

Elen Rives can't seem to keep her red carpet fashions straight. Maybe it's having two kids, or the infidelity of Frank, or god knows what. This abhorrent combination of unflattering black blouse with tent-like purple skirt held up with a white belt, has been spotted twice now this fall. As if wearing this attire at London Fashion Week (offending every designer in the room) wasn't enough, Rives felt it necessary to wear the outfit again to a makeup launch at Paper Night Club. Not only did she have the nerve to wear this attrocious outfit, she did it TWICE!

Sept. 15, 2007... AND THEN AGAIN... Nov. 1, 2007

I can't decide which way I prefer? With the hugely fabulous Ralph Lauren sunglasses and oversized clutch OR standing besides Frank Lampard (who looks twice as well put together). Probably the latter.

Disappearing Act

I miss Frank Lampard's thighs. I understand he probably has to wear the spandex because of his recent thigh injury, but when they made their appearences, it could make my day and maybe even my weekend. I don't know how much longer I can go on.

BEFORE: (in all their glory)


AFTER: (hidden from those who seek a peek)


It's a recent trend in football, and I must say one I do not approve of. Without thighs and bulges, what do I have to look farward to on gameday? Bring back the thighs, and lose the spandex, I SAY! I'm making a proclamation to the FA and maybe even FIFA. We'll see how far it goes.

Second Yellow Awarded...

...to this matching offense. Unacceptable ladies. I'm utterly disapponted.

Not Who Wore it Better... But Why in the First Place!

You know it’s a bad week when the two biggest WAGs of the north have been spotted in the same outfit, all be it in different colors, but none the less. Alex and Coleen do enough shopping to have different attire available once one of them beats them to the punch. And this is why all of you have mobiles and extensive social networking… to figure out who has worn what and to not make repeat offenses while looking like total tarts. No more matchy-matchy ladies. You are better than this, and after everyone called you role models. Such an utter disappointment.

Bugger Off Boo Boys

OK, seriously… the booing of our own players needs to stop. I don’t care if they’re complete rubbish or a 2 time consecutive winner of the Fan’s Player of the Year. And the fact that there is no reasonable excuse for such childish and immature behavior only supports the point that it’s a useless gesture. Besides the fact that Frank Lampard is my favorite player, and that I’m a bit too connected to the issue, I can’t see a viable reason for booing a player on OUR side. After all the debate over goalkeepers, I don’t see anyone booing Robinson when he goes between the posts. I know I cringe every time the ball enters the penalty box (whether it’s a shot on goal or just a simple back pass). I shall desist my moaning now, but I think support of the entire team against Russia is important to the players and frankly, my sanity as well.

LAMPS IS BACK!

Frank Lampard has returned to Chelsea for their game against Bolton! I didn't realize how much I missed him till he's back in beautiful thighness. Let's hope he can do well enough to start for England next week as well.

Ronaldo Releases a Picture Book...of Himself

Leave it to a footballer to write a book that contains more pictures of himself, than actual words. And leave it to Cristiano Ronaldo to be that footballer. What self-respecting footballer, or even human being creates a coffee-table autobiography? Seriously? And then he claims that’s its not an autobiography. Well I don’t know how the Portuguese define “autobiography,” but in my opinion this is a sad, sad attempt at one. I can understand maybe having some difficulty with words, seeing that he may struggle with English, but that’s what ghostwriters are for, am I right? I am truly appalled with his lackluster attempt at telling his story. He makes it obvious that there obviously isn’t much story there besides his good looks. Utterly disappointing.

I pray to God that this narcissistic behavior doesn’t catch on at United, because I don’t think I can put myself through 176 pages of staring at Wayne Rooney’s disturbingly freckled mug, or Carlos Tevez’s ghastly uni-brow.

Additional Moment of Narcissism: After getting a nasty gash in his head, which required stitches, during the game against Roma on Tuesday, Ronaldo stated, "It's not a problem," he said. "In four or five days I will be beautiful once again." Need I say more?

Jose Goes... Along with My Sanity

Frankly, I’m still recuperating. The past 11 days have made it difficult for me to function. Oh I may be being over-dramatic, but I don’t care. When I first found out about Jose Mourinho’s “eviction,” it was maybe 9 p.m. on Wednesday night here in Pennsylvania. After a long day where I found out that I was losing my job due to a corporate closing, with a 2-hour biology class, followed by a 2-hour biology lab, the news of Jose’s departure was not taken lightly by me. Needless to say, there were tears shed and much questioning of the reasoning behind the decision, as I’m sure I shared with many Chelsea fans and most definitely the players at the club as well. My feelings are hurt. And I’m offended. But I shall try to move on. There were moments last Saturday when I thought I might be unable to listen to the Manchester United game Sunday morning. I didn’t think I’d be able to watch MY team, be coached by anyone besides “The Special One,” which in the end, seemed like a more fitting nickname than most. He was special; there’s no denying that. Both on and off the field, Jose was a force to be reckoned with. He was the most successful coach at Chelsea, winning every domestic trophy out there, and he was the kind of guy to point it out… a lot, which got him a lot of slack from the press, but he was more than happy to sling it right back at them. But that’s why we loved him. He made Chelsea fans look timid, some more than others. It seemed at times, that he was the biggest fan of the club. Even at the end, there was nothing but love for the club and fans, not necessarily with EVERYONE at the club, but in a general sense. I will miss him immensely. Every time I hear the fans at Stamford Bridge sing the chant dedicated to our beloved former manager it brings tears to my eyes, literally. And I swear that if McClaren doesn’t work out for England, the FA shouldn’t hesitate to ask the man who brought English football to such a level of prestige and cachet.

Posh Masters NY Fashion Week

I just need to revel for a moment in the glow of a fashion goddess. Victoria Beckham was at New York Fashion Week and dawned four designer outfits in less than 48. God I wish I (a) had the money to purchase such abfab dressware and (b) had the time to spend to stare at designer catwalks for hours on end picking and choosing what I wanted to purchase for the upcoming season. The life of a WAG is nothing short of pure fashion splendor.

From left to right: At the Oscar de la Renta show, in a fabulous Herve Leger number, in another stunning Herve Leger dress, coming home to LA in a colorful Pucci.

Ronaldo Has Mummy Issues

Cristiano Ronaldo still has a joint bank account with his mum, Maria Dolores dos Santos Aveiro. The momma’s boy still needs permission to make extravagant buys, such as luxury cars, but also for simple tasks like cheque writing. Seriously!? (That must have been an awkward conversation explaining that payment to McKenzie Escort Service.) Apparently she also expressed concern with him dating Gemma Atkinson (who eventually took her WAG status elsewhere, like to Ronaldo’s teammate, Alan Smith’s door. Much approved UPGRADE, I must say, Miss. Atkinson.) First the “man-purse,” and now we discover that Ronaldo needs permission from his mum to spend his money, and that he’s actually taking into account her advice on his love-life!? My advice to you, little footballing franchise in the making, divorce your mum (who does live in another country) and start a REAL relationship. (Maybe one that doesn’t involve an exchange of funds, or your bird running off to the bed of a teammate, perhaps.) Just a suggestion.


Link: Ronaldo’s Special Bonk Account

So Much Football, So Litte Time

After a rough week/weekend, with which I’ve had a large sum of homework that I’ve had to complete or have yet to complete, and that has frankly been dawdling my attention from the things I REALLY want to do, such as this blog. I apologize for my absenteeism. (It’s almost as bad as Lampard’s absence from the field. God I miss him. And yet another explanation for my dreadful mood.) Seeing that I’m incredibly behind on my postings, I’m not even going to try and attempt to catch up, but rather move on to new things.

News and Gossip

Ryan Giggs- Off the Market



Giggs and his longtime partner, Stacey Cooke, got married in a small ceremony in Manchester on Friday. Their two children, Liberty, four, and Zach, one, were joined by a few family and friends joined the happy couple in celebrating their union. It isn’t yet known if any of Gigg’s teammates from Manchester United attended. Giggs met Stacey, an interior designer, in 2002 while he was still dating his best friend’s sister, Emma Thompson. Stacey had dated Emma’s brother, Dave Thompson, who is now married to Ryan’s ex, Davinia Taylor. (Sounds like a good a storyline plucked right out of a Footballer’s Wives script.)
Firstly, may I add my disappointment at the lack of lackluster. Where are the frills, the bows, the flowers, the celebrity guest list? Maybe he took some advice from Gary Neville after his wedding extravaganza this summer. But frankly I would have liked to see some more wedding WAG fashions. Secondly, Stacey has a mountain to climb if she wants to have a WAGtastic reputation like the other Manchester United WAGs (e.g. Coleen McLoughlin, Emma Hadfield, or whatever latest fling Ronaldo is having). Maybe a shopping spree with some girlfriends of a spread in OK! with the kids.

Giggs Gets Married

Pitter-Patter of Little Feet for Cech



Petr and Martina Cech, are due to have a baby in January. Petr was overjoyed after getting the news. The family are glad to grow after almost losing Petr to a fractured skull sustained last October in the game against Reading. Martina has revealed that Petr would like a daughter, while she would prefer a son. (Maybe they’ll have John Terry’s luck and get one of each!)

Petr of Tiny Feet for Cech One Year After Horror Injury

Alex Curran to Open SWAG Childrens Boutique



Apparently the store will be catered to other WAGs and celebrity mums. The store will be located in Liverpool’s upmarket Childwall and will open sometime next summer. (How she’ll be opening it from Austria and Switzerland, I have no idea?) Outraged shop owners have had problem with voicing their distaste for her attempt at work. They say her royalty like celebrity status will take business away from the local stores, who actually need the money, while Alex is just doing it for something to do in her spare time. Frankly, she’s a WAG and I see no reason for getting a job. What’s next? Is she going to actually start balancing her own checkbook? I think not.

WAG Alex Opens Kids Boutique

Michael Essien: Ghanaian Ambassador for AA… I mean Guinness.

Essien has agreed a deal with Guinness to promote the Irish stout in his native land of Ghana. Guinness, while suffering a slump is sales in both the UK and Ireland, has received a 17% increase in sales in Africa. Seeing that Jose Mourinho is a huge stickler for diet and nutrition with his Chelsea squad, it is expected that Essien might get some slack from the gaffah for signing such a deal. What surprises me about the deal, is the fact that Essien was rumored to get a DUI and spend a night in jail sometime last spring. Quite the role model for African youth, ay? This promotion may have not been the best of choices for the adaptable midfielder/defender.

My Guiness! Essien Signs Deal to Become the Face of Irish Stout

ENGLAND beat Israel 3-0!

Who knew England could produce such a result? Well obviously I did, but I did have my doubts. With Crouch suspended and the injuries of Rooney, Hargreaves, Lampard, Beckham, Neville, and the instability of Gerrard, I think many fans were left on the edge of their seats from the start. But they needn’t wait long before sitting back and drinking a pint or two. From the start England showed complete control of the game, both on attack, midfield conversion, and defense. Emile Heskey looked guaranteed to score with 2 shots on goal in the first seventeen minutes. But on the 20th minute, Joe Cole lofted a beautiful cross into the penalty box from the left that found Shaun Wright-Phillips on a perfect run to put the ball in the net with his far-side right foot. (In post-match coverage Ian Wright, Shaun’s stepfather, told viewers that he had told SWP to make such runs. Quite the fatherly thing to do, taking credit for the goal and all. Arsehole.) John Terry took a knock in the 27th minute after going for a header, but after receiving some brief treatment, he was back up and hollering commands. By the half-hour, England had 65% of the possession, forcing Israel to constantly be on guard. Owen missed a great opportunity before the break when his first shot hit the goalkeeper in the face, to which he only sliced the rebound over the crossbar.

After the interval, it seemed that England were gunning for a second goal to finish the game off early. And their work paid off when Michael Owen volleyed home a short pass from Gareth Barry on the 48th minute. While still holding much of the possession, England were constantly pushing Israel to pick up pace and never brought their energy down, as they’ve been known to do in the past. And in minute 65, Micah Richards finished the game off with an aerial header off a Barry inswinging corner kick. Once the win was sealed, McClaren decided to give some of his players a break. In the 71st minute he brought Phil Neville on for Gerrard, who had over-stretched and needed some treatment, and Andy Johnson came on for Heskey in a tactical substitution. Heskey received a standing ovation from the fans for his performance after being away from the international stage for so long. With 7 minutes left to play, David Bentley came on for Shaun Wright-Phillips. Bentley was welcomed to the pitch with boos and jeers from the England fans, most likely in response to his withdrawal from the U-21 squad over the summer (or possibly his atrocious new haircut? I’m unsure.)

Standout Man: The ENTIRE squad. After bringing so much stress to England fans, including myself, the squad performed with fervor and maturity.

Surprising Squad Emission: Michael Carrick. I don’t really understand that one, but maybe McClaren just wanted Bentley to be on the squad so he could put him on to be booed. Teach him a lesson in messing with England fans. (It’s not to be done, if he didn’t know.)

Video of England Goals