Bentley Upgrades to a Ferreira

I appreciate that he's able to laugh at himself.

picture via The Sun

Footballers are Idiots: David Bentley Hits Lamp-post with Porsche

After leaving a Jet gig at 3AM, David Bentley hit a lamp-post with his £90,000 Porsche 911 in Northaw. The Tottenham flop was eventually charged with drink-driving. He also had to suffer the wrath of Harry Redknapp, who charged him with a fine. Bentley has been bailed to appear at St Albans' Magistrates Court on Aug 28.




pictures via The Sun

David Bentley Punched in Face at Restaurant

While enjoying dinner quietly at Nolita Bar with his very preggers girlfriend, Kimberly Mills, and another couple, Mr. Bentley was clobbered in the face by a fellow restaurant patron. The 20-something male stood up from his table after he had finished dining and paying his bill, walked up to Bentley, punched him, then ran out of the restaurant. Bentley's friend chased the man, but ended up with a similar fate, a black eye and cuts on his face. The attacker apparently had a taxi waiting at the ready for a quick escape. Looks like David will be pressing charges against the attacker. The pre-meditated nature of the attack leads the officials to believe that this was an attack by Arsenal fans, Bentley's former club, in a reaction to his move to Arsenal rivals, Tottenham.

picture via zimbio

Dodgy Hair of the Season

Although there are many contenders for this prestigious award, I've narrowed it down to categories and then a runner-up and winner.

To kick us off, I give you the bad cornrows:


Excessive Fro-ness:


The greasy used car salesman look:


Uncategorically dreadful:


RUNNER UP: Philippe Mexes, for his double ponytail.


THE WINNER: Sergio Ramos, for his inability to control his mane at the beginning of the season while ending it with what appears to be a mullet. Well done...


I do realize that not everyone agrees with my opinion. There are those out there that are thoroughly amused by Mexes double ponytail. While others ogle at the glory that is Sergio Ramos' lengthy locks. They just aren't my cup of tea. I'm so going to get slack for this, but I have freedom of speech... b**ches.

pictures via google images

David Bentley's Got Some New Bling...

Some agents just don't have any faith in their players. It's sad really.

Bentley Crowd Surfs Shirtless

David Bentley was at the Kings of Leon concert at Wembley on Monday night. Not only do I approve of his taste in music, but I also approve of the crowd surfing that he participated in... shirtless.

Now, if there were any ladies at this concert, I must ask. Did anyone cop a feel and what was stopping any of you from tackling him to the ground and propositioning him right then and there? I must know.

picture via The Sun

England v. Czech Republic: Thesaurus Work and Scarlet Letters

I couldn’t be anymore embarrassed about being an England fan right now than if our captain was Willy Wonka, or perhaps an oompa loopa. (And I LOVE John Terry.) Besides the fact that we scratched out a draw in the final minutes (thank you Joe Cole, a Blue Boy may I add), our defense was dismal, our offense was wretched, and our midfield was basically undetectable.

How many ways can you say “pathetic”: doleful, heartbreaking, lamentable, miserable, mournful, moving, piteous, pitiable, pitiful, plaintive, poor, rueful, ruthful, sad, useless, worry. Yes, all of those. That’s how England fans feel about our team. I’ve been pretty supportive, but truthfully I’m getting sick of the worrisome performances from my team. And frankly, World Cup qualification is the least of our worries; worldwide embarrassment seems to be more ostensible at this point.

I don’t know whether the fans at Wembley tonight were booing David Bentley coming on or Frank Lampard coming off, but both are not due. Especially when you cheer David Beckham’s woeful performance (besides Brown’s assist) when he came out of the game. (I love to quote ESPN’s Match Centre commentary by calling him “Copperballs” because he failed to reach a single England player on about 99.9% of his free kicks and corners.) You can’t cheer for some and not all. You’re either a team player or not, and booing puts a big Scarlet letter on your chests, you tergiversators! Look that one up and suck on it!



Personal Note: God was at least on our side for providing the rain when the lads were in their home whites, making them deliciously clingy and basically see through. Thank you for that.

Link: Cole Saves Fabio's Blushes

The Disappearing Faux-Hawk

Footballers over the past season have coveted the studly appearance of the bad boy faux-hawk. Players such as Cristiano Ronaldo, David Beckham, Alan Smtih, Cesc Fabregas, and David Bentley have sported the do, some pulling it off better than others. But some players have changed their style to deviate from the now overly used faux-hawk.



David Bentley has chosen what I like to some might call a pageboy hair style. (So conservative, it has its very own political party.) If he weren’t so willing to take off his shirt, I would have thought he would prefer to don a turtleneck and study philosophy with the pompous lads at Oxford. Lose the side part kiddo.



Alan Smith has gone from faux-hawk to emo flathead. This isn’t nearly as much of a deviation in comparison to Mr. Bentley, so it’s a bit easier to handle. Smudger likes the skateboarding, motocross, MotoGP business, so it’s actually quite fitting. I can see him head banging in his flat up at the Toon to some punk rock while watching the X-Games on the telly (shirtless perhaps).

Women Faced with New Appreciation for England Training Gear

If you haven’t seen them already, England encountered a bit of rain yesterday in training. How misfortunate; except for the ladies that is. Those white shorts when moist become a bit translucent. Who would have known!? I’m thinking perhaps there is a woman behind this oversight, or maybe not-so-oversight. Either way, these should be worn whenever rain is predicted on the same day as training, it’s a new rule.

John Terry, David Beckham, Joe Cole, David Bentley and Steven Gerrard were sporting these translucent shorts and I think we can all agree that there was more to see than usual. The audio/visual effect is lovely as well.

Alas, there are still a few footballers hooked on the new spandex under shorts craze that’s sweeping the nation. Frank, rid yourself of those constricting undergarments pronto. You look ridiculous.



P.S. Congratulations John on getting the captain's armband for Wednesday evening!

Link: Sympathetic Capello Makes Terry England Captain